There are two types of people in this world, those who Fear Missing Out and those Who Fear Going out, otherwise known as the FOGO-er. Those who Fear Missing out are known rivals of the FOGO-er. We try to avoid influence of these types of people. However if you should come into contact with a FOGO-er please follow the below steps.
How to identify the FOGO-er: Key Quotes/ Trigger points:
Trigger 1. T- Total
"Would you like to do sober October with me, you've been going out a lot recently I think this would be really good for you"
In this instance our advice would be , crouch below the FOGO-er so you are out of eye sight, crawl to your nearest exit and at no time should you make eye contact. They are extremely persuasive creatures and will try to reason with you by presenting their carefully constructed Excel spreadsheet with listed pros and cons. At the first sight of the Excel spreadsheet you must seek safety. We suggest you hide in a social space where you will be unlikely to come into contact with a FOGO-er.
Trigger 2. The night in
"Instead of going out Saturday ,I've had a fun idea. Why don't you come over for green tea and a goats cheese salad?"
“No thank-you, I don't agree with self harming”
A FOGO-er is health conscious , they try to limit your alcohol and your caffeine levels. Remember FOGO-ers crave stability , organisation and sensible shoes. They are otherwise known as the ultimate fun sponge! They are frightened of hyper activity and prefer tranquil environments. The best way to identify a FOGO-er before you mistakenly establish a friendship is to ask two simple questions;
1) Do you own a britter filter kettle?
2) I missed Antics Roadshow last week, what happened?
If anyone begins to answer the above questions you must seek safety as this person cannot be trusted.
Trigger 3. Practical thinking
FOGO-ers are excited when they buy practical materials.
‘I went shopping today to use my birthday vouchers’
‘Exciting what did you buy?’
‘Oh it is really exciting, I brought a new set of light bulbs for my lamp so I can read my book before I go to bed , I'm so looking forward to it ‘
‘Next joke?’
‘Oh and a new shower curtain’’
There are no words.
Trigger 4. Budgets
‘Have you ever tried going to a charity shop and buying anything from there to save money, you know shop as well as do some good’
‘Let me stop you right there I once gave £20 to a homeless man- I’m basically on par with mother Teresa’
‘I just thought it might be fun trying out some vintage clothes’
(Looks up the definition of fun)
Enjoyment, amusement, or light-hearted pleasure.
I will get no enjoyment, amusement or light hearted pleasure through having to search from store to store for a decent second hand cardigan.
On several occasions FOGO-ers appear to misunderstand the basic English Language. Therefore you have to repeatedly explain to them what certain words mean. The common words FOGO-ers fail to understand are ‘fun’ ‘weekend’ and ‘yes’.
They seem to think fun means excruciating discomfort.
Weekend means I can come to the office for two hours instead of eight.
Yes means definitely not, absolutely no way, over my dead body.
It is important to note FOGO-ers come in all shapes, sizes and ages. People make the assumption a FOGO-er would only exist amongst the older generation, this is not the case. FOGO-ers are everywhere. Studies have suggested the FOGO-er increases in population amongst the colder seasons, there are more and more people developing this condition as Winter is amongst us.
I ask you all now to beware of the FOGO-er, they are everywhere. Some FOGO-ers aren’t recognisable at a first glance so stay alert. And ask yourself this simple question: Could you imagine a life where intoxication, spontaneous evenings and frivolous spending were absent?
I know I speak for FOMO-ers everywhere when I say let the battle commence and the FOMO continue.
Good Luck out there, may the odds be forever in your favour.
How to identify the FOGO-er: Key Quotes/ Trigger points:
Trigger 1. T- Total
"Would you like to do sober October with me, you've been going out a lot recently I think this would be really good for you"
In this instance our advice would be , crouch below the FOGO-er so you are out of eye sight, crawl to your nearest exit and at no time should you make eye contact. They are extremely persuasive creatures and will try to reason with you by presenting their carefully constructed Excel spreadsheet with listed pros and cons. At the first sight of the Excel spreadsheet you must seek safety. We suggest you hide in a social space where you will be unlikely to come into contact with a FOGO-er.
Trigger 2. The night in
"Instead of going out Saturday ,I've had a fun idea. Why don't you come over for green tea and a goats cheese salad?"
“No thank-you, I don't agree with self harming”
A FOGO-er is health conscious , they try to limit your alcohol and your caffeine levels. Remember FOGO-ers crave stability , organisation and sensible shoes. They are otherwise known as the ultimate fun sponge! They are frightened of hyper activity and prefer tranquil environments. The best way to identify a FOGO-er before you mistakenly establish a friendship is to ask two simple questions;
1) Do you own a britter filter kettle?
2) I missed Antics Roadshow last week, what happened?
If anyone begins to answer the above questions you must seek safety as this person cannot be trusted.
Trigger 3. Practical thinking
FOGO-ers are excited when they buy practical materials.
‘I went shopping today to use my birthday vouchers’
‘Exciting what did you buy?’
‘Oh it is really exciting, I brought a new set of light bulbs for my lamp so I can read my book before I go to bed , I'm so looking forward to it ‘
‘Next joke?’
‘Oh and a new shower curtain’’
There are no words.
Trigger 4. Budgets
‘Have you ever tried going to a charity shop and buying anything from there to save money, you know shop as well as do some good’
‘Let me stop you right there I once gave £20 to a homeless man- I’m basically on par with mother Teresa’
‘I just thought it might be fun trying out some vintage clothes’
(Looks up the definition of fun)
Enjoyment, amusement, or light-hearted pleasure.
I will get no enjoyment, amusement or light hearted pleasure through having to search from store to store for a decent second hand cardigan.
On several occasions FOGO-ers appear to misunderstand the basic English Language. Therefore you have to repeatedly explain to them what certain words mean. The common words FOGO-ers fail to understand are ‘fun’ ‘weekend’ and ‘yes’.
They seem to think fun means excruciating discomfort.
Weekend means I can come to the office for two hours instead of eight.
Yes means definitely not, absolutely no way, over my dead body.
It is important to note FOGO-ers come in all shapes, sizes and ages. People make the assumption a FOGO-er would only exist amongst the older generation, this is not the case. FOGO-ers are everywhere. Studies have suggested the FOGO-er increases in population amongst the colder seasons, there are more and more people developing this condition as Winter is amongst us.
I ask you all now to beware of the FOGO-er, they are everywhere. Some FOGO-ers aren’t recognisable at a first glance so stay alert. And ask yourself this simple question: Could you imagine a life where intoxication, spontaneous evenings and frivolous spending were absent?
I know I speak for FOMO-ers everywhere when I say let the battle commence and the FOMO continue.
Good Luck out there, may the odds be forever in your favour.